Cheater!!!

1.  When your wife's co-workers don't know your married, I scream cheater.

2. When your husband comes in late and first thing he does is mouth wash, shower, and then sleep on the edge of the bed all night, I scream cheater.  That or he's gay.  You choose...

3. When your spouse says, "but we're just friends." You are probably already in trouble, because they are CHEATING.

4. When your spouse does the wondering eye.  If your partners eyes wonder, either slap the shit out of them, or kick them to the curb.  

5. If you are excited for the next time to see or talk to your spouse, and its not because of a business trip, or the first 6 month of the relationship.  Ask yourself, "Where are they?"  They are cheating bastards.

6. Avoiding direct answers of questions you ask them.  If the answer starts out "Umm... "  get out now, its a lie that will follow and your spouse is cheating.

7.  When you start spending more and more time alone and nothing in each others lives have changed.  This ones a big one, because they are avoiding the problem and its obviously you.

8.  When you your spouse tells you there is no hooking-up in the bed room and you try and they roll over or fall asleep.  Falling asleep... I think not.  Cheaters!!!

9.  When your baby comes out looking nothing like the last one and/or nothing like you.  Umm, test that shit and fast. 

10.  Our final reason is catching them in the dirty work.  Go home on lunches at different times, take a day off and don't tell your spouse about it.  Its called the surprise factor and if you have to do that, grab a hotel room, Xanax, bottle of wine, and a tub of ice cream, and leave the poor fool/crazy biotch.  

-Bobbet Heavens