El Cinco De Drinko

The weekend is upon us and your El Cinco De Drinko has arrived for you to begin your festivities. We want to know what you drank, how much you drank, what you slept with, what memories you made, what places you went to and if they were El Happen-o... Let us in on the 411 please.  

Just remember people are watching you as seen here:  This is what not to do on your El Cinco De Drinko.

Remember when drinking this El Cinco De Drinko weekend, beware of where you are and who your real friends are.  This is exactly what we want to see more of, so drink wisely and send them to us.

-Bobbet Heavens

Cheater!!!

1.  When your wife's co-workers don't know your married, I scream cheater.

2. When your husband comes in late and first thing he does is mouth wash, shower, and then sleep on the edge of the bed all night, I scream cheater.  That or he's gay.  You choose...

3. When your spouse says, "but we're just friends." You are probably already in trouble, because they are CHEATING.

4. When your spouse does the wondering eye.  If your partners eyes wonder, either slap the shit out of them, or kick them to the curb.  

5. If you are excited for the next time to see or talk to your spouse, and its not because of a business trip, or the first 6 month of the relationship.  Ask yourself, "Where are they?"  They are cheating bastards.

6. Avoiding direct answers of questions you ask them.  If the answer starts out "Umm... "  get out now, its a lie that will follow and your spouse is cheating.

7.  When you start spending more and more time alone and nothing in each others lives have changed.  This ones a big one, because they are avoiding the problem and its obviously you.

8.  When you your spouse tells you there is no hooking-up in the bed room and you try and they roll over or fall asleep.  Falling asleep... I think not.  Cheaters!!!

9.  When your baby comes out looking nothing like the last one and/or nothing like you.  Umm, test that shit and fast. 

10.  Our final reason is catching them in the dirty work.  Go home on lunches at different times, take a day off and don't tell your spouse about it.  Its called the surprise factor and if you have to do that, grab a hotel room, Xanax, bottle of wine, and a tub of ice cream, and leave the poor fool/crazy biotch.  

-Bobbet Heavens

Jedi mind tricks AKA: Self Control

Have you ever noticed that one person who seems to have all the self control in the world? I may be talking about you, but most likely not, so take that look around your office (because well I know you, like me, are doing this on company time) and find that one person who has some level of self control. For me this wasn't found in the office, sorry my speakingfromexperience confidants, it was when I logged onto my myspace page and saw that a near and dear friend is training for a triathlon. Big deal right? No, it IS a big deal.

She did this when we worked together over a year ago and shed those pounds like it was going out of style. I was jealous then and am SUPER jealous now of her ability to stay focused. Now somewhere deep inside of me tells me that I too could achieve something like that. Then the other part of me tells me to fill up that 44 oz diet dr pepper, grab those candy bars that are 3 for a buck, and get that cookie to go with the big bag of chips you grabbed too. Yes, that is what I did today at Maverick. What the hell, I have already put on the pounds so who really cares? Well the honest answer to that, is me. I care, but I have no self control or drive to put the bad stuff down and replace it with something that is good for me. In a way, I don't have the drive to see myself succeed. Because after all, what would I have to complain about then? what would I make my friends laugh at? I looked at myself today, figuratively of course, and wondered what had gone wrong along the way.

About a year ago I was working out every weekday at my lunch break. No days off, everyday without fail. I was eating under 1500 calories and I had even gone to the extent of hiring a personal trainer for over 3 months. My starting weight at all of this was 142 pounds. My ending weight (after 6 months) was also 142 pounds. Now, I wouldn't have had an issue had I lost inches, but that didn't happen either. I forked out so much money to lose the weight and nothing happened. At least I thought nothing had changed, until I realize now that I felt better about myself. My image, which actually hadn't changed at all, looked different to me in the mirror, but because the pounds didn't shed and I didn't get in my small jeans I stopped going cold turkey and haven't been back since November of last year.

Since then I have tried to balance my food intake, taking in the suggested percentages of things, my failure comes from when I am not at work and I eat crap on the weekends. So I switched back to Weight Watchers, which had worked wonderfully for me many years ago (I shed 20 pounds). I do well until it comes to the weekends or late evenings, then everything goes to shit. My doctor told me that I am just getting older, and as I get older I will gain more weight. I say BULLSHIT. I was down to consuming 900 - 1200 calories a day. At this rate something should happen, but at this point I think my body is burning nothing.

So my question to everyone who has the quality of Jedi powered self control, where does it come from? and where do I get it? Do you think its hereditary, something we learn as children, do our parents teach this to us or lack thereof through conditioning without even realizing it? Am I then passing this quality (or fault) to my children? I feel the rewards of having the ability to reach personal goals on a work / career and social basis but I cannot obtain those things that I truly want in my heart of hearts. Why is this? I want your opinion.... do you think we set ourselves up to fail so that we have something to continually complain about?

I know for me it feels like a lot of work for something that I deserve to have, but where do I get the assumption that my lazy ass should look like Catherine Bell or Fergie? Do I feel as though everything I have been through entitles me to be special? Or do we all just want the easy way out? are we so lazy that even our minds have lost the ability to push us towards our personal goals?

Smokers Lounge

Today while at work we went outside to smoke and I have decided two things from my experience out in the myst of the "smokers"...  

Shit gets done out there.  The latest gossip, drama, free flowing comments, and LOL's go down while in the Smokers Lounge.  

Second, thing I noticed is what we call exercise, you have to get up out of your chair, walk to the anointed smokers spot and then breathe heavy form the walking, smoke and breathe heavier, and then walk back in.  Its got to be burning calories.  Those skinny biotches.  That's how they do it.  

Today our topic of conversation was when ghetto houses add bling bling to the yard.  If the house is ghetto do us a favor and get ghetto things to match the surroundings.  The last thing anyone wants to see is a nice gazebo in your 5 foot back yard, and no it does not add more square feet to your barren waste land, as seen here

What things are you talking about in your smokers lounge?  

Leave us a comment or E-mail to the link below...

-Bobbet Heavens

Thank You 4 Being HOT!!

Speaking From Experience something this beautiful as Robert Buckley should be fake and unachievable.  We would like to thank Robert Buckley for not being ugly and eating correctly to have that awesome body for every man and woman to be completely jealous of.  Ugly people just need to stay inside.  Thank god this gorgeous thing knows how to get our attention with no shirt on.  No Shirt, No Shoes, Come in for Full Service...   We have named this sexy stud Mr. McDrool.  Yum! Yum!

-Bobbet Heavens

Coming Soon...

Don't forget this upcoming 

Monday 05/05/2008 is 

Mc Donalds Vs. Starbucks Coffee

                  VS.                

Coffee, its meant to taste good and bring you that much needed caffeine in the morning so you

don't slap the shit out of someone. This morning I am getting my fix with my Mc Donalds Ice 

Vanilla Coffee that cost me just under $2.00 for a 32 oz. This DEEE-LISH beverage has made 

me question my loyal support to the one and only Starbucks. Up until now I have thought that 

Starbucks and I would grow old together, but that love is trading and fast to Mc Donalds. That 

red haired, white faced, creepy thing of a man has made one damn good cup of coffee. Thank 

you M-D Man...

Here is why my support is turning to Mc Donalds:

1. Price... Starbucks doesn't have a 32 oz. cup and if they did I would think it would be like $10.00.

2. Calories... Mc Donalds Large 32 oz is 270 calories of yummy goodness where Starbucks Large

24 oz. is at 270 calories of supurb love in a cup.

3. Drive up... Come one everyone loves the lazy drive thru window... Every Mc Donalds has one, where

Starbucks, you have to go hunting to find that drive up window and I know you're just like me and

will drive a mile out of the way just for your lazy window. We are all guilty of this American Made Gift.

4. Final fact... The menu for other items. Who doesn't like a egg and cheese Mc Muffin or an OJ? I 

think I am sold... 

Now don't let me confuse, I will always need my Starbucks fix, but if I can get a good tasting coffee, 

cheaper, with more oz.'s, and use a drive up window, I'll choose that Mcy D's cup of love before the

Starbucks. Sorry Starbucks, but you need to change some things, like the price if your going to get my

full heart back.

Tell us what you think..? What do you like more and why?

-Bobbet Heavens